• home
• software
• projects
• web design
• photographs
• journal
• contact
• about

Life’s tough in seat 29K

Posted on December 19th, 2005 at 05:10 pm under Opinion

Luck was mostly on my side this past weekend as I left Hamilton and headed home to Nice to celebrate Christmas and spend winter break. On Saturday, I spent the good part of the day heading down into New York from Utica. Amtrak was efficient, although as expected, delayed. Luckily, MTA workers postponed their unauthorized strike until today and I was able to get to my parents’ apartment with relative ease and low-cost, thanks to the Holiday savings the MTA was offering. As an aside, $1 rides would definitely be a great way to increase ridership. I visited with my aunt for a while until the past week’s stress and lack of sleep finally caught up with me - hard - and it wasn’t long before I was fast asleep on the couch.

Sunday, time to head to France. The morning and early afternoon was spent running errands, taking a quick stroll in the park, and having a light ‘Christmas’ lunch with my aunt. I bought tickets on the airport bus to JFK in the morning and left four hours before my flight. However, catching a bus to grand central station was difficult as a few of the drivers were holding their own unofficial strike early, refusing to pick up passengers. I missed the airport bus I had planned on catching by a couple of minutes, but as they head out every 20 minutes, wasn’t too delayed. Traffic was harsh though and it took a bit over an hour to get from the city to Terminal 1, Air France’s modern terminal at JFK. Lines for ticketing, as well as security were long and by the time I got through the last checkpoint, it was five minutes before boarding.

Arriving relatively late compared to the other passengers, I was forced to sit in the center seat of the Boeing 777 that Air France uses to Paris CDG. During the flight, while I was being crushed by the seat in front of me, I came up with my personal manifesto for flying which I believe everyone should follow:

• Passengers seated in the center seat should be given priority over the arm rests. It’s a minor privilege of having to be boxed in and provides a semblance of fairness.
• Passengers should avoid reading laptop screens. I know it’s more interesting than the “Life vests Contained Under Seat” message that you’re used to staring at, but it’s annoying. However, feel free to ask a laptop user to reduce their screen’s brightness if it’s bothering you. It will save their battery and produce less ambient light.
• Try to use the bathroom at the same time as others. That way you’re disturbing the status quo less often.
• Food should be eaten, not thrown. Unidentified substances that look like food should be treated as food and thus, not thrown.
• Cell phones should be off. Period. I know you can now talk on them all the way until the airplane’s door is closed, but honestly, just turn it off. If I have to hear the conversation, “Not much … just sitting on an airplane right now, waiting for takeoff. How about you?” once more, I’ll scream.
• Flight attendants are right. You’re wrong. You’re not a customer. You’re cattle. It comes with the territory of buying a sub-Z-squared class coach ticket. If they tell you to turn off your cell phone (see previous etiquette), please do so.
• Tray tables do not need to be quality tested like they are shown to be in Ikea. Countless passengers, and even designers, have already tested to make sure the hinges work. The same goes for the latch too.
• The choice “Chicken or Fish” need not be answered with “Beef.”
• Have you turned off your cell phone yet?
• If the flights late, remember most airlines build in time to still land at the time designated on your ticket. However, if the flight leaves two hours late, you need not ask the flight attendant if we’re going to arrive on time.
• Always be prepared for the “Caterer’s strike,” or as I like to call it, “I’ve got good news, I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance but you’re still not going to be served gruel.” Pack a sandwich, granola bar, and fruit with you.
• Eating oranges is a no-no. Don’t even think about it, even in situations described above.

We arrived late in Paris. No surprise there. Originally I had about 1h 45 to catch my connecting flight to Nice. However, arriving at 9:10, my time to transfer between terminal 2C to 2F was cut to just over an hour. Making things worse, as our flight was late, we were forced to wait for special airport buses to collect us from some far away taxi area. Long story short, it was 9.35 by the time we were transferred from the airplane to the terminal and it took another 10 minutes to take the shuttle bus to terminal 2F. However, being that we were coming from a non-EEC country, we had to pass through border patrol which was truly a mess. No definitive lines, about a hundred or so wary travelers, and only three passport agents. It was after 10.20 when I finally got through, leaving less than 15 minutes before my flight was scheduled to depart. Running half-heartedly through the terminal, I was required to go through yet another security control and arrived at 10.35 on the button at gate F35. The departure sign was blank and an agent was counting tickets. I was disheartened. I had missed my connecting flight. Going up to the agent and speaking my superb French (read: rusty and disorganized), I uttered something like, “Est-ce que j’ai rate mon avion?,” loosely translated as, “did I miss my flight?” To this, she gently and responded yes, but followed by asking where I was heading. Responding “Nice,” she smiled and said that the plane had arrived late from Barcelona, had had a gate change to F33, and that they were just now boarding. Luck was definitely on my side. Needless to say, I headed over to gate F33 and boarded.

Finally, after having found seat 6F (middle seat, of course), I was ready for either a snack or a nap. As our purser later stated, problems always come in more than one, and that because the caterer’s were on strike, they would unfortunately only be able to serve a glass of water or coffee/tea on the flight. My gut reaction ended up being “who cares, welcome to the world of American carriers!” By 1.45 local time, I had been picked up by my parents and was comfortable relaxing in a kitchen chair, finally getting my infusion of caffeine that I needed!

3 Comments

Leave a Comment

 

Copyright © 2000 - 2007, Aram Kudurshian. All rights reserved.
Syndicated Feeds: Journal Entries, Journal Comments, and Noteworthy Links.